I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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