i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
