I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
