is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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