Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
