I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
