I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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