I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I CAN MOONWALK!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
