You really coming over, don't trick.
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
3 2 1 whiskey
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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