is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Houston, we have a squirter
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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