Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
