So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
