I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
