And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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