So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
