he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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