I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
