And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
