I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
