I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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