We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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