oh god the rape fog is back!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
