what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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