theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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