I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
