Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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