i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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