It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize