i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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