I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
