At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
