There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
