When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
