I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
