But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
