oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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