Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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