never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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