i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
How's work?
Spinning.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
