I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
