Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
