When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
