shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
