Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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