I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
