He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
