Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
