I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
