please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
nutella sex= disaster
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
