At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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