she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
